"hey mom can i get one direction tickets"
"sure honey, how much?"
If you don’t use an empty house to sing obnoxiously and off key in your underwear you are doing life wrong
imagine trying to take a shit while in the arena
like with cameras everywhere and the constant fear of being killed
and like what would happen if someone popped up and killed you mid poop
and you became know as the person who died mid poop during the hunger games
thank you to my mom for giving birth to me in the same era as 1d amen god bless
i’m like 97% sure i’d be the best girlfriend ever but no one will ever know
i need some physical affection and 3 bottles of vodka